Tis time to leave the books in dust, and oil the unused armour’s rust.

Iraq Wins Asian Cup




This is one of those things in life that is often too awesome and too dramatic to believe, but Iraq just won the Asian Cup in Soccer. One of those few occasions when even briefly, your faith in human potential is restored.

Message to US Occupying Forces: Get out NOW. This is not a society or a country you WANT to get ticked off. Which apparently you have dozens of times by now with your indiscriminate damage to the civilian population and infrastructure. Considering how much you already have done so, please do as I say. If you get out now, twenty years from now you guys will be back in Baghdad as businessmen and investors and drinking beer with the Iraqis , and you will watch maybe replays of this soccer game and realize just how MUCH you guys had in common. Come on, the Iraqis are so much like you guys: they’re indomitable, barbarian sonsabitches descended from indomitable, barbarian tribes on the edge of Empire, just as most of your ancestors were, who hate losing and love winning. Which is why they’re not greeting you as liberators. Doesn’t it remind of you of your days at the lines of scrimmage and your cadences and your battle cries in high school?

Message to Saddam in his little corner of Hell: I know that you and sons tried to get the Iraq soccer team to perform well by whipping them and torturing them, but hey, chump, look where that got you?  This is proof that people can be spurred on to perform well on their own for such things as dignity and honour…things that people like you have always been too willing to take away, of course, you will not be the last to attempt to take those things away from the Iraqi people either. Think about that while that pitchfork slides up and down your anus. Want a lubricant?

Message to President George W Bush: The Iraqi People have achieved a BENCHMARK of an entirely different sort than you can ever have hoped to achieve for them. It’s time you know that if they achieve anything else, it will not be due to you, or your cronies, or your mismanaged and totally unnecessary war. You and your chums in DC would be class dunces if I were to grade your knowledge of history. Just take in one lesson and take it good: let PEOPLE build their own countries and they will do everything you and your puppets cannot, and MORE.

Message to the Iraqi People: You are a bunch of indomitable, barbarian sonsabitches. I repeat that. In the best way possible.

Message to the Singaporean government and people: Forget your new stadium, forget the sports school, forget everything else. If you want to produce a world class soccer team, nothing beats the last-minute stamina and the pure will to win that must be searched for in the human spirit itself. Champions are not made by gyms. Neither are they made by the ridiculous academic requirements that you put up in your sports school necessarily enable you to attract the best and the brightest in their respective games. Champions are made by something invisible…and it is up to each and every man and woman to search his or her own soul for that something that makes a champion. Think about our Sports Vision for 2010 and the farce it has now become…we have less than three years…and Iraq just made a mockery of all our goals. What can we do?


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